Day 11 – I can’t let you go

Im getting all dressed up

And I kinda feel dumb

Im trying to prove a point… that’s my problem I’m always trying to prove a fucking point

Right now I’m trying to prove a point to myself that I’m hot af that I can go anywhere in miami and have anyone.

That I don’t need you and I can have even more fun without you

But as im finishing putting on my make up I feel like that’s a stupid fucking point to prove.

Sure if I go through with this I’ll probably get into the nicest club and with the hottest guys but I already know that

I did that two years ago…. last time I was here and it’s a stupid point to prove. One that already happened.

If I’m trying to prove to myself that I don’t miss you then that’s a dumb lie… so this is dumb I’m just going to stay home. And not put myself through that only to find out what I already know,

That I can’t let you go… getting drunk will just make it worse and sober I can manage it, sober I can let go of you, almost like it never happened.

So let me start the new year like that not dragging myself through the dirt for someone who doesn’t even care, who isn’t even there…

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