When my brothers and I were little, my middle brother (older than me but not the oldest) had a habit of breaking toys each time my parents gave him one.
This started around 4 I think, and the reason being is he was trying to figure out what made them tick, see what’s inside. I don’t know what he was hoping to find but what I know is, he was trying to understand.
On his mission to understand unintentionally he broke it in the process, but curiosity, thirst, hunger for knowledge does that to people sometimes.
I’m the same way but with people… A lot of people try to get close to me and I often have to show them my warning label caution “Do Not Get Too Close, Might Break You” but of course no one ever reads the warning labels I look harmless, they go for it anyway.
Silly me forever hopeful that there will be someone who will withstand this, lets them in. In the end I do not know who ended up more broken in this process.
Whenever I get close to someone, I have a bad habit of getting inside their head dissecting them as I try to figure what makes them, “unique”.
Everyone on the surface is not really that different… I mean they are, but they really aren’t.
They’re just kind of you know, following societal protocol in some way or another.
So in order to really get to know a person you have to get inside, unfortunately for me I don’t know how to see inside, without breaking them.
I like villains, in stories… My mom says that always worried her, how I always like messed up people and villains in stories as opposed to having healthy and normal relationships and cheering for the heroes.
Villains are unique, they’re complex, and so misunderstood.
What makes a Villain a “Villain”? when you really think about it, it’s the perception of others… It’s people’s unwillingness to get to know them because they aren’t following protocol. If they do not get a labeled a “Villain” for their out of the box thinking, they get labeled “Insane, Pyscho, Crazy, Mad, Tapped, etc” which might as well call them a “Villain” because after all they are different words for the same purpose, to “oppress”.
Don’t get me wrong, not all people who fall into those categories are “misunderstood” just like not all people who fall into positive categories such as “heroes, just, fair, kind, spectacular, etc” are actually those things.
Long story short, some religious (moral men) do molest children, rape women etc, and some thieves, homeless, lost, do save lives and have more soul then any religious (moral) leaders.
Things aren’t black and white.
However, people are so quickly to forgive “heroes” for their immoralities and sweep it under the rug.
Even quicker to let “villains” good deeds go unnoticed and condemn them even more for a slight misstep.
When really when you think about it the real villains are the ones who manipulate their image looking perfect all the time but in the end, are the most immoral of people…
Yet society loves them!
I always accidentally break people, because every time someone lets me in I bring my flash light, and I tend to show them as I make my way in; they aren’t as perfect, good, moral and kind as they thought they were.
In order to properly get/understand a person you need to get to know their cracks, their weaknesses, because truly it is our flaws that sets us apart and makes us well “unique”
People resent “Villains/Insane” because they embrace the truth regardless of their nature.
When people let me in, I tend to make them realize that they aren’t as perfect, moral and kind as they thought themselves to be.
Which in turn makes them meltdown, shut me out and most importantly “hate me”
For showing them something they didn’t want to know, for showing their true reflection in the mirror and isn’t as pretty as when the mirror was dirty.
They hate me for being so calm, at this truth, because of my calmness they think I’m a villain for showing them such atrocity the human soul can be, most importantly because of my calmness and my flashlight they think that I think I’m better than them, because I’m not afraid.
When I try to explain, the decision was made they kick me out slam the door, before I can show them how to embrace the dark and realize that, that’s their most unique part.
Once you recognize your weakness that’s when you acquire your biggest strengths, when you find a flash light with infinite battery and never be in the darkness again.
So I have bad habit of breaking people, when I get close to them, I have a bad habit of showing the ugly truth.
Most people rather think they are heroes, for playing by the rules and following protocols, when the truth is we are all complex as villains and psychos.
Most people the can’t accept that.
Can’t accept that they’re more than just “ordinary” for the good or for the bad.