Out of my mind (unfiltered free write)

When I was in school in English class the teacher would sometimes give us 10minutes to just write down everything that was on our minds

there was no rules nothing just put words on paper as if no one was going to read it (except she would) but anyways no rules!!! she called this “Free Write” and it was literally my favorite if only part I liked about school. I always hated rules and constraints.

So lets try this 10minutes Straight out of my mind.

4:31 07/28/18

I’m kind of mad and kind of happy at the same time…. theres a million things going on in my brain but still papers are so hard to start even if its for the sole purpose of having fun.

Society has conditioned me to follow these arbitrary rules even when I am not required to.

(tbh I don’t even know what arbitrary completely means or let alone spell without the help of autocorrect but it seemed like it made sense, and sounded like a fancy word for random and unnecessary which how I feel about rules especially for writing…. idc if I used it correctly low-key I do care cause I don’t want to sound like a dumb ass even if im free too sound however I want.)

It’s funny the first few things that popped on my mind was problems and mistakes even petty ones like why did I buy a MacBook with a touch bar for 200$ more when I don’t even use the fucking Touch Bar, 200$ I could’ve spent on promoting myself and my art

CHECK OUT @Shutupandstay on INSTAAA for cool art

ok I was somewhat productive, I don’t know why would anyone would want to read whats on my mind but I feel like a lot of people are interested on what others think.

so this is 10minutes of my unfiltered thoughts

I think about thinking.

im upset that I got dumped by the person I thought I was going to marry and I think he was cheating on me the whole time because its only been a few months and he has moved in with this new girlfriend and took her to cali

that mutherfucker never gave me closure he just vanished

I don’t want him back I don’t miss him he wasn’t even cute. but im still butt hurt what I really miss is the stability the sense of I don’t have to date more idiots this is the one I can settle down now.

I hate him so much the thought of him even looking at me makes me want to throw up. yet I chased him for weeks to try to find closure, and not even a fuck you fuck off you crazy bitch he couldn’t give me he just simply ignored my calls

his friends don’t get why he is with this new girl they say im much sweeter prettier and have a lot of personality

the only thing is im poor and I can’t buy him Gucci sneakers like she can… maybe thats it thats why he left im poor.

 

4:41

ten minutes are up…

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