I’m fucked up… maybe we all are. but I no longer try to hide the scars on my skins some self inflicted some inflicted by others.
I do no longer cry and want to hide, when people say these things to my face. “Crazy ,Emotional, Broken, Dramatic Depressed, Stubborn, Troublesome etc.”
There is truth to that, I can be all those things at certain times. I’m no longer ashamed or in denial about those perceptions.
I’ve grown to understand. While trying to please some people I made enemies with others.
For reasons that have nothing to do with my person but the kind of person they are, and how they perceive me. They feel threatened by my words and my presence even though no move or word I ever made and spoke was directed at them.
Most of the time, I was not aware of their existence nevertheless their distaste towards me, but it was from mouths of others that I discovered what my instincts felt.
My other enemies however do have some reasons, and those who I wronged in pursuit of an ambition, question or idea once I have realized my actions I have asked for forgiveness.
Whether they forgive me or resent me is no longer an issue with me but an issue with themselves.
We are all covered in scars… undergone things we shouldn’t of undergone, saw things we can’t unsee, and felt pain we didn’t deserve.
All had our heart broken due to loss.
However the fact we undergone all of that is not what makes us fucked up, it’s how we let it change us is that makes us fucked up.
You are born into this world with no insecurities, but after the first time you play with fire, you never see it the same.
Before you saw it of a source of warmth, now you see it as inflictor of pain. No longer do you want to play and become intimate with it.
Just as you tend to create distances from people, because… of those who burned you in the past wearing the same smile and having the same look in their eyes.
That’s where we are fucked up. Because we went through those experiences and let it take from us, is how we became fucked up